Friday, November 09, 2007

file under. . .

There are times in my life that I remember vividly. Moments I swore I'd preserve in my memory forever, under the file header "best times ever".

One of those times was my first dance, with the boy I was so madly in love with. At the end of that night, I couldn't even begin to imagine a moment that could ever top that.

A few years later,my Junior year to be exact, was the first time I'd ever been to Disney World. I went with my high school choir and for me, it was everything Walt Disney had always promised it to be. I can still remember every single moment. Hanging out with my friends, performing in front of hundreds of people, the hotel, the rides, and the magical feeling I was left with at the end of that trip.

During my senior year (before I was pregnant), I began to get very nostalgic, depressed even, reading into what they always tell you. About how those were the best years of your life. "You'll never feel like you do now" was actually something my principal said during graduation. You know, all that stuff.

Well, I have to say, everything I was told then was so wrong.

I returned to Disney World about five years after my first visit. And I have to tell you, it was even more magical than it was the first time around. That time, not only was I looking at things through my eyes, but I was also seeing them through my then two year old son's eyes. And, nothing, NOTHING is better than that feeling.

And today. To the outside world it would have looked like any normal day. But to me today was one of those times that goes far beyond a moment to remember.

I had the day off of work, so the boys and I decided to play hookie. I try to do this kind of thing about once a year with the kids. It gives them a nice break and it gives me some quality time with them.

So, after we slept in, we all got dressed, and headed out to Starbucks, at Bumpo's request. There, we ordered two Soy Hot Chocolates warmed to "kid temperature" and a Soy Vanilla Latte, for me. We sat outside at one of the tables for awhile and had very deep conversations about their Christmas wish lists, why the sky is blue, and the ever important boy talk about farts and gas, and other gross disgusting things.

From there, we ventured on to Hobby Lobby (my little town is growing up so fast, we actually have a Hobby Lobby and a Michael's now!) where we looked at all the Christmas stuff, and shopped the sales.

After that, they were in the mood for a pretzel so it was off to Target for a much needed snack break. Because seriously, how can you beat spending $2 on a pretzel and a medium drink?!! The boys then wanted to look at the toys and clothes and the electronics and the Christmas stuff. So off we went.

After about two hours of paroozing every aisle in Target it was time to head home and start dinner, which will be sloppy joes, their choice.

Today was absolutely amazing for me. So much more important than those other memories I have stored in my head of what I thought was the best moments of my life.

When I look at my two beautiful children playing together in front of me, I realize that right now, EVERY SINGLE MOMENT of being their mother, their mentor, their guardian, these are the best moments I will ever experience.

The every day life when we get to play and laugh and just spend the day together.

The expression on Bumpo's face today as I looked at him through my rear view mirror, when he told me that he had just had an accident. How disappointed he was in himself for causing us to have to run home for a quick wardrobe change. And how it almost brought tears to my eyes to see him so upset. Or how privileged I felt to be the one to comfort him, to tell him that accidents are okay, that we can fix this little problem. And how happy it made me to see the smile return to his freckled face.

Or when Bob so intently played with a Newton's Cradle today. And how closely he listened to me as I taught him why it is called that. About Newton's Laws. And how he sat there, in that store for five minutes solid playing with that thing, focused and determined to try every possible combination for himself. And then walked away with knowledge he didn't have before. Something new that I had taught him.

Today was full of moments that I hope to remember for a very long time. However, I am sure that as life goes on, they will be pushed aside for new memories, new exciting experiences that life has to offer.

And that is okay. It is okay because I am lucky. I get to make memories with these boys every single day. So many moments that it's just too much for my brain to contain.

And in the grand scheme of things, I can't think of anything much better than that.