change

This time of year always gets me thinking about my life. Where this year has taken us so far, what is still to come, and all the coulda shoulda's that I've promised myself countless times to leave well enough alone.

This year is no different.

As the weather turns cooler outside, I can't help but think of all the things that have happened for my little family so far this year. My dear boys have been through so much and you know what, they've been awesome about all of it. They lost a grandparent this year. A grandparent who, when she was at her best, was amazing to them. Someone who, made my boys smile and laugh and, once upon a time, she made them happy. Sadly, all of that went downhill so fast that I'm not sure they've even had time to process it. How do you explain to your children it wasn't anything they did to make their grandmother go crazy? How do you reassure them that they didn't do anything wrong? That they didn't make this happen? That you can't help someone who isn't willing to help themselves? The answer is time and love - - unconditional love. With those two things, anything is possible. I know it sounds cheesy but it really is the truth. I know my boys are much better off without ha toxic human being in their lives. I know I did the right thing be removing them fully from that terrible situation. But I still wonder how this is going to affect them (all three of them) in the long run.

The boys start school on the 25th of this month. Another new school, another new group of friends to make. My dear Bumpo has been to a different school each year since he's started. This isn't what I wanted for him, for them. I want them to have structure. I'm hoping that's what they get when we move to Ohio. I want to finally settle down, buy a house, and raise my little family. Now, don't get me wrong. I love my life. I love the adventure we've been on for the last nine and a half years. But the time has come to slow things down. Which I guess is why I'm looking forward to our move next summer so much.

I love this time of year. The last calm week before the chaos of school, events and holidays begin.

It's a great time for reflection. To plan our next step. And a mighty big one it will be. . . .