Sun Burn is a Pain I Tell Ya!

I go through one bad sun burn an average of once a year. Each time, about half way through the first day I end up asking myself why I let it happen again. So this last time, I decided to keep a journal of what I went through so that next time I feel the urge to laugh in the face of my annoyingly smelly, bottle of SPF 40, I'll think twice. . .

Here is my horrific tale:

Nights #1 & 2:

• Sunburn seems to have covered my arms, back, shoulders, and the tops of my chest.
• Full of pain.
  
• No one even think about touching me, in fact don't even come close.
• Cancel all plans and forget going anywhere, the idea of putting on a bra is asinine.

Night #3:

• 11:30 p.m. - Pain has subsided a little bit, but has been replaced by this unbelievable itching sensation. Oh my gosh, someone kill me now, or I'm going to go insane!!
• 2:30 a.m. - After hunting through the medicine cabinet, emptying a can of antiseptic spray that promised to stop itching, and contemplating downing the entire bottle of my son's Singular for its histamine relief, I went to my sleeping husband to ask for help with the itching. He promptly turned me away furious that I would even think to ask him for help after I had made so much fun of him in my blog. Darn Karma
• 4:30 a.m. - Searched the entire house for a brush, only to realize it sits in my car, outside. Found roundy scratchy brush designed for those complicated hair do's instead. Hyperventilated like I just won the lottery.
• 4:35 a.m. - Went to town on my back with aforementioned scratchy roundy brush. Breathed in a sweet sigh of relief, then yowled at the top of my lungs until every dog in the neighborhood joined in.
• 4:45 a.m. - Threw brush across the room like it's a telephone and I'm trapped in some terrible horror movie with the killer on the other end of the line telling me he's outside my door.
• 5:00 a.m. - Pick discarded brush from floor and put in a safe place for the days to come. Even through the pain, this sweet beauty has made the itching stop, and helped me find the sleep I so desperately needed hours ago.

Day #4:

• Sweet Jesus, forget the damn time stamps, the itching is back and with a vengeance. Where in the hell is that darn scratchy brush.
• Find scratchy brush, lightly scratch back with it.
• Repeat 15 minutes later with a little more force.
• Put brush in a hard to reach location in fear of accidentally coming in contact with it again that day.
• Wallow in the horrible pain my back is in, and then smack myself for creating it, yet again.

Day #5:

• Tried my hand at putting on a bra for the first time since the burn.
• Vowed to hurt the man who invented the darn thing and seriously contemplated going to the store without one.
• Took one more look in the mirror at my huge, drooping chest, and decide against the no bra idea and in favor of the immense pain instead.
• Got home from the store, discarded bra.
• Looked high and low for scratchy brush since clothing irritated the heck out of my back while I was out.
• Find brush, curse it for alluding me so.
• Scratched back for three minutes straight until I almost saw the pain in my SON's eyes.
• Basked in the sweet relief of the stinging mind numbing pain my back was in.
• Repeated anytime I felt a twinge coming on.

Day #6:

• Tried the bra thing one more time. Found it a little more bearable than the day before.
• Carried brush around like a mastercard, never leaving home without it.
• Scratched back when the mood struck. Middle of Target, dinner, in the middle of a romantic movie with Tim, whenever, didn't matter!
• Stayed out extra long shopping and making good use of the money I'd saved by being at home for almost a week straight.
• Periodically patted my purse to make sure that my Precious was still tucked safely inside.

Day #7:

• Finally the itching has subsided.
• Now I can scratch it with my fake nails and get some relief!
• Removed roundy brush from my purse and actually use it on my head for a change.
• Head out into the world like a normal girl once again!