Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Spring Broken

Well, it looks like my dear Bob will be spending Spring Break with his dad, out of state. Scott is due to arrive here on Friday, after Bob is released from school, and whisk him off for a fun-filled week. Away from his mom, away from dad #1 (as Bob calls Tim), and away from his admiring fan - - aka Bumpo.

I'm going to miss that boy. Things between him and I have been a bit rocky lately, but when it comes to him leaving, I get quite sad. Even with the way the last few days have been going, and after everything he's done, I don't want him to go. I never want him to go. He's my boy and I hate how I feel when he's not around. I love seeing his goofy grin, and hearing his inquisitive questions, day after day. A piece of me is broken when he's not around. The house is always too quiet. It's funny, because on a daily basis, I long for the kids to go to bed so that I can treasure a moment's worth of peace, but when Bob is gone, I long for the constant noise that fill these walls. Luckily, this time he'll only be gone for a week. I'm sure he's looking forward to getting away from strict, mean mommy right now anyway.

Bob has been grounded since Sunday because he did something that is beyond bad. In my opinion, he did one of the worst things a kid can do to a parent (short of any physical harm, of course). Two days ago, Bob took it upon himself to steal $20 from the money we made at the yard sale. Now, if that wasn't bad enough, he then proceeded to walk next door to the convenience store all. by. himself. and spend at least $14 on candy for the neighborhood kids. Now, although this convenience store is right next door, you have to travel on a very busy road to get to it. Bob knows he isn't allowed to leave the confines of this property. In one fell-swoop he managed to completely destroy any amount of trust I had in him. First he steals from us. Then he lies about it. And now, I can't even trust him to play outside with his friends anymore.

Trust. That is the main problem I'm having with this whole situation. Bob has always been super mature for his age and I've never had a problem trusting him with anything, until now. And yes, before I get all kinds of hate mail, I do understand that he's only eight and he's allowed to make mistakes. But, in my opinion, this is beyond a mistake. He knows the difference between right and wrong. He knows it's wrong to steal, as this isn't his first time. He knows it's wrong to lie. And he surely knows it's wrong to go wherever in the hell he feels like going, whenever in the hell he feels like going, especially unbeknownst to me. He CHOSE to disobey every. single. one. of. those. rules. And that is what hurts the most. That is what worries me the most. It makes me wonder if maybe I've given him the benefit of the doubt way too much. That maybe this isn't the first time he's done something like this, but the first time he's gotten caught. It's made me rethink our entire relationship. It's made me feel like a complete idiot. I feel like he totally played me, and I'm hurt.

So, for now, he's on the strictest of punishment. Tim and I walk him to school in the morning, we pick him up in the afternoon, and then he comes home and does his homework. After homework is done, he has chores to do. After chores, he is to spend the rest of the evening in his room reading, writing, and thinking about what he's done. We also have an appointment on Friday with his school's resource officer (who is a police officer, especially trained to deal with children). Hopefully he can shed some light on to why this happened, and at the same time, scare Bob enough to make sure it doesn't happen again.

So, yeah he's definitely going to be counting down the days until Friday. But for me, the countdown will begin the minute he leaves on Friday.

And it will end when he's back safely in my arms.


Katmaxx said...

I hesitated to post this but my heart is touched by the break in your relationship with your son.
In the same situation I would encourage my son to ask sincere forgiveness of myself and my husband. This would help alot to heal the hard feeling and restore your relationship, he may need coaching on how to do it. Also I would have the child earn with jobs or withdraw from his bank the amount he took as restitution for the theft.