Friday, May 04, 2007

Decisions, decisions.

There is a new phenomenon sweeping the nation and it's name is "Second Life". If you haven't heard of Second Life, it's this newish game online, much like the Sims games, except it's interactive. People go on, create their own avatar, and network with other people. Basically, it's a virtual chat room, where you can make your avatar sit at a table or dance. You can also shop for clothes, buy houses, and even buy your own island.

The people who came up with the idea are genius. It's brilliant, and I think it's going to be awesome for them financially. . . for the next few years, which should be all they need anyhow.

My mother in law is obsessed with Second Life. So much so, that she spends at least twelve hours a day on there. And, heaven forbid, if the Internet connection is down (as it has been lately) she goes berserk. Her new found love has created a major amount of stress in her relationship as well. She's basically told Steve (see sidebar in case you're wondering who Steve is) that she doesn't care anymore. She is done with their relationship. Then goes on to talk non-stop about this new guy that she met on Second Life by the name of Brad. Supposedly, her and Brad are going in to business together. Brad is supposed to be some big shot landscape architect in California who has done work for Alicia Silverstone and Danny Elphman to name a few. Yet, he wants my mother-in-law, a woman who hasn't even left the house in over 17 years to run a business for him. A woman who has no experience what-so-ever in anything computer related, except that she spends her life on one. Somehow, it's a little hard to believe.

Anyway, she has now decided that she no longer wants to be married. She treats Steve like crap. Basically ignoring him day in and day out. She puts him down day after day, and has basically made it clear that she's only with him for financial reasons. The part that really infuriates me, is that Steve goes for it. He bought her this new car, that he isn't even allowed to drive (he isn't even allowed to park his own car in the driveway anymore), has agreed to sleep on the couch, and refuses to stand up to her in the least. Despite myself, I feel sorry for him. Sorry that he's going through such hell. Sorry that he can't find the words or the dignity to tell her where to go. Sorry that someone he loves so much, has such little respect for him. And, most of all, sorry that this person, a person Tim swears was the nicest person he'd ever met, has been chewed up and spit out, leaving this shell of a man who is barely recognisable anymore.

Now, I know it seems like I'm just spreading useless gossip, but I assure you, this post does have a point. This new obsession has effected my life as well. See, dear sweet (insert immense sarcasm here) watches my boys while I am at work. According to Bob and Bumpo, she makes them play outside all day, barely saying two words to either of them. It's gotten so bad that we had to keep Bumpo home from school for a couple days because of the sunburn he acquired over there. Not only does she not allow them to play on the porch (the only shady spot in the yard), she insists they play on the driveway. Completely exposed to the sun. Even when we ask her to make sure that both kids have sunblock on she refuses. Saying she'll make sure they take breaks, but that she can't deal with the smell of sunblock because of her chemical sensitivities. Sensitivities that only seem to arise now when something work related might be required of her.

My problem is that I know she is doing us a huge favor by watching the kids. She isn't charging us anything and now that she has her license, she'll even pick the kids up from school for us. However, good deal or not, it's not worth my boys being neglected for 2-8 hours a day. Because of her, I have missed out on important information from their schools, I missed the deadline for Bumpo's school photo's this year (granted, I had no intention on buying them anyway, but she didn't know that), and I didn't even know when Bumpo's graduation was until I asked today because she failed to give me the newsletter about that. Why you may ask? Well, because she doesn't even bother to come out of the house when we show up to pick up the kids. I just pick them up, out of the yard, and we leave. That's it.

The summer is coming up and that really worries me. Bob will be gone for half of it, leaving Bumpo to basically fend for himself, in a place where I shouldn't have to worry. Tim and I have tossed around the idea of putting him in child care while Bob is away, at least that way I know he's safe. However, when Bob returns, they'll have to go back to Child Care a la Yaya, because it would literally take my entire paycheck every week to cover the expense of both of them in the fancy place down the street. So, this is a temporary solution. After Bob returns, I'm not sure what we're going to do. This extra money that I'm making is really making things a lot easier around here right now. Don't get me wrong, we can live, and live comfortably on Tim's salary alone, but with the money I'm making, it allows us to build up our savings and not have to plan and worry so much about every little penny that enters this household compared to the expenses on the docket for the upcoming month. Basically, it allows us to breath a whole lot easier. This job of mine is not a permanent thing. At the most, I'm hoping to only keep it for about a year. Just enough time to get our finances in order, a nice hefty chunk in the bank, and our businesses up and running. My question is, is it really worth it? Is my job really worth all this mommy guilt I'm feeling? Is it really worth it to have my kids go through what they do every day for the sake of a secure financial outlook? Is being over at Debby's house even as bad as they make it sound? These are questions I need to find answers to. And I need them desperately.

In other news, we've scheduled a tour on a near beach front property (the road this house is on, dead ends onto the beach, not the backyard, but super close) tomorrow night. A house that, because of my new job, we could easily afford, and it's only about a five minute walk from home to my work.

Why do decisions have to be so difficult?


Amber said...

Yargh. I have no advice for you because you will do whatever is right for YOU and that's all that matters in the long run. :)

As a parent of adult kids, I can tell you know that it was the little things, the daily things that counted much more than the big stuff, really. Day care or not, or where you choose's not going to be about those things for them when they are grown. They'll remember the time you guys baked cookies and spread icing on each others' faces for fun or the time the car got a flat and the tow truck had to come or, for instance, the time the stupid kitchen hanging lamp over the kitchen table kept dropping panels off it and finally after dealing with panels dropping into our plates or homework for years, we bought a new lamp and took the old one out in the backyard and beat it to bits with plastic whiffle ball bats.

They LOVE that story. Along with many others. It's going to be about the times you have together, not about the other stuff. Don't sweat all that other stuff' it's not the Big Stuff, it's the Little Stuff that will matter to them most. :)

Well, there ya go; I guess I gave advice again. *smiles* I cannot help it, I guess.

Anyway, I'm sorry about your MIL being possibly swindled by this online guy. My ex is in a similar situation at the moment, I believe. Something about adopting a child from Russia with this Russian woman he's met online. He's giving her lots of money but I think it's a scam. :(

What can ya do? People are stubborn. This will be the THIRD woman who has bilked him out of a lot of money. It makes me sad but I cannot control him just as you cannot control your MIL. Sucks, though. No doubt about that.