Friday, March 23, 2007


I'm currently up to my neck in junk. Household stuff that is loosely contained into three categories - - Sell, Keep, and Toss. I had no idea how much stuff this tiny apartment could contain. When everything is stored away (read: shoved into closets so full you can barely open the doors) our house is pretty clutter free. However, right now, the main room of my house looks like a storage unit has exploded. We've come a long way from where we used to be. Especially after we moved here from Houston. In Houston, we had two huge storage units full of junk. When we moved here, we moved all that junk with us, into a three bedroom apartment, sans storage units. Now, it's containable in the three closets we have and Tim's parents' garage.

Anyway, during this de-cluttering/organizing journey, I've come across so many things that I thought, for sure, were lost in the fire. The first, and most important, being the kids portraits. I knew I had rescued my big tub of candid photographs, taken by me or the husband, but I was almost positive that the professional photos we had taken over the years were gone. I remember after the fire, grabbing a box out of my master closet that I thought just housed a bunch of my scrapbook stuff, choosing (with a very heavy heart) to leave another, badly damaged, box behind thinking it was mostly just my Creative Memories Consultant crap and my wonderful portraits. Turns out, the box I grabbed was the box with both boys' baby books, and envelope after envelope of all the portraits we have taken over the years. The box that was left behind, contained probably close to $1000 worth of scrapbook supplies, I couldn't be happier.

After finding those portraits last night, I took a little detour from Mad Organizing Drive, and chose the road called Memory Lane instead. Looking back at those photographs of my boys, when they were newborns, or at six months, or even at one year, I can't believe how far they've come. How much they've grown.

Bob, especially, he's grown so much. Remembering what he was like is a little harder. but I can still see him on the day he was born. I thought he was the most beautiful baby I'd ever seen (still do). On his first Halloween, a month later, Daddy's Lil' Devil. The day when he was nine months old, and determined to walk, with Scott and I cheering him and enticing him with popsicles. Or him dancing around my ex-MIL's empty kitchen, after we first moved in. I can still see the resemblances from his baby days, but for the most part, that face is gone. Now it's replaced by a young child's face. A face I'm sure won't change much from now on. I can now picture the way he'll look when he's older. The handsome man he'll become. He's still has that same determination he had when he was a baby. And, the most infectious smile you've ever seen.

Then there's Bumpo. His photos show the wonderfully playful times we shared when he was a baby. He has always been so full of life. Loving every minute, never taking advantage of a single second. It's easier to remember his baby days. The way he used to look up at his brother with those wonderful blue eyes, the big ol' pudgy six month old he became that caused us to nickname him "Mr. Gerber Drooly Tubes", His first birthday, and the vegan cake he loved so much, even though most people thought we were nuts to give it to him. The way he acted about learning how to walk - - he wasn't as determined. He did it in his own time. When he felt he was ready, it was a gradual process for him. Looking at him now, you'd never guess that he was such a chubby little guy. Gone are his fat little thighs, chubby fingers, and quadruple chin. Left is his wonderful spirit, his fantastic outlook on life, and his cheery disposition. Never the one to complain about much of anything.

I love these boys so much. And I'd be lying if I said that looking at those photos didn't make my desire for another baby come out even more. In fact, I think it may even be a little deeper. Now, I know, for sure, I don't just want another cute squishy baby, but another child. Watching these kids grow has been the greatest gift. From the baby stage, to the toddler, to the little people they've become. I've enjoyed every minute of it.

. . . And I long to do it again.