missing: one sane mind

A little over two weeks, that's all of the school year we have left. And while I am super excited for the extra time it allows with the boys, I'm dreading it.

The end of the year also means we're that much closer to our big move to California. A place that most people would only dream of moving to. Yet, I find myself drawn to a tiny town in Ohio instead. California is known for many things, awesome weather, celebrities, unlimited career opportunities, the works. Ohio, on the other hand, has only a handful of well known attributes, and that may be pushing it. Yet, it's home. Where my family lives, where my brother will be welcoming his first child in a matter of weeks, where the holidays would be full of fun and festivities as all my relatives visit, the place I really want to be. California, on the other hand, is about as far away from Ohio as possible. It's full of wonder, the excitement of the unknown. The kind of thing I always thrive at.

I do love myself a new adventure. This adventure just has too many risks. The cost of living out there is outrageous, I'd be LIVING with my crazy mother-in-law, and after doing the math, we'd be coming up about $400 short a month in the living expenses category. Not a good way to start a new adventure.

Tim's mom is pressuring us to go. She's paying for the move, we've given her our word, and Tim feels obligated to go. A couple weeks ago when we made this promise, we had nothing to lose, things could only get better, now things are different. Tim got a job. Not only did he get a job but he got a fantastic job. He's working as an Assistant Manager at a competing nationwide pharmacy. Now the need to move, for us, isn't so great. If anything, it makes things much more complicated. Now we have to transfer two jobs. We have to find a location somewhere in between the two unknown locations so that sharing a car isn't quite so difficult. All the while, making sure we don't obliterate our already bleeding budget on gas alone.

The only good points I can make FOR our move to California is that the weather is so much better. 70 degrees on average all year long. The hottest it gets in August, their hottest month, is around 80. Perfect for me. That, and I've really grown to hate my job. Well, actually I love my job. I hate the store I'm working in currently. It's the misfit store. We went two weeks without a store manager, leaving us lowly shift managers scurrying around, trying to make the most of a store that has been neglected for far too long. Now, we have a new manager, but we've been told he'll only be around for a couple months. Meaning he's here to make a good impression on the bosses above, whip our crappy store into shape, and not care who he takes down in the process. I miss my old store. The one that actually had customers, and employees, and teamwork, and all the good stuff that makes a business run. I'm looking forward to a transfer, or a new job, or something.

Okay, so this is yet another post of endless nonsense babble. So sorry for the few of you who may still be reading this. I guess this whole damned post could be summed up in one sentence. . .

I DON'T WANT TO GO!!!