round and round we go. . . .

. . . . where we'll stop, nobody freakin' knows.

It's about 2:30 in the afternoon, and I'm sitting at my local Krystal, listening to my two hyper boys - - hopped up on all the last day of school energy and about ten pounds of sugar, play around me. A storm is threatening to drench us in any second and although I know I should be heading home, I can't bring myself to turn off this computer and head back to my apartment where Comcast has made it impossible to communicate via the web. I've been out of touch for way too long.

Yet not much has changed.

We're still not sure what our future holds for us. California is looking more and more like the way we're going to go. And I'll still planning on fighting till the bitter end. The only progress Tim and I have made is that we know, for sure, that we cannot continue to live here. We're way too far behind. Plus, we both have grown to hate this small town we live in. We need a fresh start. A place to start over. We both know that Ohio is the much better solution to our financial problems, (it's so much cheaper to live there.) plus I would love to be back near my family, but getting there is the major problem. We don't have the money to move. A move like that takes a couple thousand dollars between renting the truck and deposits when we get there. We can't save that kind of money in the short time we have left here. Which makes California the likely choice. We can at least get there. We should be fine financially too, but it requires his mom to live with us, and WORK. Neither of which I'm too sure about. I absolutely hate the idea of living with this woman, and here desire to work is a bit on the iffy side. However, at this point, we are pretty much out of options. And even though I hate to admit it, this may be a fight I'm bound to loose, at least for now.

So basically, this post is much of the same. Our decisions change on a daily basis right now. Things are crazy and more than anything I'd like for them to calm down. I'm craving the stability right now. I want more than anything to move back home, be near my family, have my children grow up with more family around than they could ever ask for. That is my goal. And by golly, I'm not going to stop until I reach it. Even if it means a detour or two before I get there.